Faith

How hard it is to trust in something intangible, believe in something that holds no guarantees, hope for something when you can not foresee the outcome?

Through my not-so-infinite wisdom and experience I have learned that faith is simply acceptance of what may be. It allows me to function without fear and wholly believe that what will be will be- for a purpose.

I find today that I must lean on that faith like a crutch- maybe two, in order to get through. The love I have for this child fills me, but I am caught between anger, guilt, grief, fear, compassion, hope...round and round I go.

My hope for you, child...to be free of your burdens and carry peace in your heart. To learn to appreciate yourself and to find out who you are- and that that person is good. To be of service to those who need it so that you can feel "high" through giving. To learn that no matter how difficult it is to make the choice at the fork in the road, the path of "right" is always the easiest path- even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. To sleep well and soundly every night. TO BE HAPPY.

I love you with all my heart- my son.